I have been observing a lot of negativity on the internet ever since I embarked on my new career in the YouTube production space. Most of this hate just comes from young kids trying to feel powerful and impress their friends and followers by acting a lot tougher then they would be in real life to bolster their inadequacies which is no different from children on the playground shoving each-other around and saying curse words out of ear shots of the adults just to feel tough and gain what they think is respect.
I fully understand this is completely natural but I’ve been observing a trend developing that I wanted to address and that is when these children start to grow up into adults but don’t really shake the mentality they had as a child and continue to think in that same immature way trying to be tough and trying to blame the world for their problems. I’ll be the first to say I’ve caught myself doing this literally hundreds of times throughout my life and as recent as few days ago so I wanted to talk about it.
The thing I’m seeing more and more is that people blame other people for their failures. I get so many emails, messages and links to other videos where small YouTube channels are making videos about how big YouTuber’s are sellouts, terrible people and stealing opportunities from real creators like themselves. Often the people in these videos throwing feces at the bigger YouTuber’s are shooting their videos on a cell phone with bad audio quality, no editing to speak of and literally zero effort in production. Yet they are saying the reason their channel isn’t blowing up is because the big guys are stealing all the views away from the little guys.
I’ll be the first to admit that when I was a smaller channel (<1000 subscribers) I also had moments where I thought bigger YouTubers were ruining it for the smaller guys. I would look at them as examples of what not to become because they are the problem and I don’t want to be a part of that problem. But what I figured out quickly as I grew little by little is the reason those channels were so big wasn’t because they were view botting, it wasn’t because their cousin or brother worked at YouTube and could cheat their channel into the top views. It was because their content actually engaged and entertained people on a level that mine did not because they were willing to take risks and find their groove and attract and audience that fit with that.
This changed my thinking a lot because if you try and convince yourself that all successful people are only successful because they had opportunities that you didn’t or did things that worked brilliantly but you feel made them a sellout then you’re only cheating yourself out of having those same opportunities since you won’t entertain them since you’re “going against the grain so to speak” or “fighting the establishment”.
The seconds you say “I’m never going to be like that person” you’re now actively trying to be the opposite of what made that person successful. That doesn’t mean you will fail but the more and more people you don’t want to be like that are successful the smaller the bucket gets of people you can be like and it will start to make decisions very difficult to make down the road and also screw you out of opportunities strictly on the principals you’ve set that don’t make sense in a lot of cases down the road and were created under circumstances where you were angry. I speak from experience on all these points as I’ve feel into these same success traps myself. Never, ever, ever commit to something out of anger, wait for yourself to cool down then think with a level head.
It’s like when you think of a certain car or it’s on your mind and you drive around and see like 20 of those cars but the day before when you were not thinking about that car you didn’t see a single one because they didn’t stand out, you didn’t see them in your peripheral vision so they didn’t register. Hate is very much the same way online, if you come to your keyboard in a bad mood or emotionally compromised you will see all the hate and the positive comments which are 99% of everything just float right by and the hate starts to gain amplification and pretty soon it’s all you see.
You will start taking everything out of context, you will see everything as a jab, you will twist peoples words not giving them the benefit of the doubt and ultimately you won’t sleep because you’re so angry with a ton of people that you have never even seen in real life that you’re sum total experience with is a few sentences exchanged in bad English on a social media site.
Again, I speak from experience on everything I’ve said up to this point. I’ve felt like a victim to all of these things and that is why I wanted to write about it in my BLOG today. The message I want to convey to everyone is that if you let hate win you can never succeed because success and hate are horrible bed fellows. So what I recommend you do is take that hate and question it and transform it into drive and passion to move in a positive direction. Don’t use that hate to justify failure and attacking others but rather use that emotional energy to prove people are wrong about you, that you can succeed in anything you set your mind to.
I’ve struggled for the last year and still have good days and bad days. Today my wife is going to see a specialist to get checked out for thyroid cancer since they think there is a high probability that is what she has. We’ve been waiting for the appointment for over a month because the health system in the united states has gone completely into the crapper over the last few years even though I pay more per month for insurance then I do for my house! It’s been a nightmare waiting this long on pins and needles but today I’m positive we’re going to get some good news. And if we don’t get good news were going to turn it into good news by getting the cancer removed, kicking it’s ass and moving forward stronger then where we started as a family. The old me would just fall into a void and hate the world and blame everyone for what is happening to me or the ones I love. I have no control over those things so I can’t let it consume me!
I am in a positive place as I write this because I refuse to get online when I’m in a negative place since I’ve found that most of the hate that breeds on the internet starts with someone have a “bad day”. Next time someone online says something horrible to you just click on their feed and read what they have been saying to other people. 9/10 times I’ve found that the person regardless of network (Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, Twitter) all have the same history of just having a bad day where they are going off on everyone or in some cases that’s all they do online because they have never been in a good place, period.
It’s rare to find someone say “Hey fat fuck, kill yourself” and you click on their feed and see pictures of funny cats and complements on other peoples posts and videos. Those people have a feed filled with hate directed not only at other people but also drawing hate back to themselves and they like that attention and have become comfortable with it to the point where it defines them as a person.
I also see a huge movement of people trying to create YouTube channels based on drama surrounding other big YouTuber’s or successful people. The point being that they were unable to find an audience through their own content and creation so they decided to simply attack bigger channels so they could use those bigger channels artwork in thumbnails, names in video descriptions and tags just to pull an audience. Then they start to get more views then normal because people watching these big YouTuber’s start to see the video since it contains matching meta data and circulate the video because there is drama involved and now the channel feel validated in attacking other YouTuber’s because it helps them grow and suddenly it’s all they do.
This unfortunately comes from a place of hate and the more people that create videos like this the more they start to change themselves into people that don’t care about what success looked like to them in the beginning but are settling for any kind of success they can get regardless of what it looks like on any level even if it really “isn’t them”. I get so many people that ask me “What kind of content should I make” when starting a YouTube channel or “How can I get a lot of subscribers and views fast”. If you’re asking those questions YouTube isn’t the place for you. The big channels mostly all started from small passionate channels as a hobby among friends or by themselves and grew slow, organically and steadily from the outset and eventually turned into something bigger when they had a break through video or really resonated with an audience and people started sharing their videos organically. There are a few channels that become really viral fast but in most cases they fizzle out and then stop making content or change direction (not always, but most of the time).
I just hope a few people that read this blog come to the realization that you can set a goal, miss that goal and still obtain that goal at a later date if you just keep working towards it. The trick is to never give up, never compromise, never let people tell you who you are, what you are or what your capabilities are and always be true to yourself. Don’t let the allure of fame lead you down a place where you would have never previously gone at the expense of others even if you feel justified in doing it because ultimately you will regret it after building a horrible legacy all for 15 minutes of fame; it’s just not worth it!
Please be good to each-other, think before you post and if you’re having a bad day go find something to do that you love instead of looking for a fight online. You have the power to not only influence your own mood and your own success but also to help others realize their potential and help them with their success as well. Don’t use your energy to destroy people and bring them down to your level when you’re having a bad day but rather get motivated and inspired by what others do and get on their level, it’s a much better journey.
Thank you for reading today’s blog, I don’t blog often but when I do it’s about issues that are close to my heart and things I hope will help not only myself but other people who read it. Even this BLOG just like my YouTube videos will pull hate from some people that have given in and given up but I’m not going to let that stop me from writing. I’m not going to let that stop me from shooting videos and I’m not going to let that stop me from eating a bag of Doritos after a long bike ride on a Saturday while playing some #GTAV on my HTPC and posting those pictures to Instagram!
Also realize it’s never to late to change. Even if you are a toxic troll seeking attention and attacking people from behind the safety of your keyboard today doesn’t mean you can’t turn into a kind and supportive person tomorrow and leave that all behind and start the process of finding what success looks like to you and following a path straight to it. It doesn’t even have to happen over night, do it at your own pace.
Love all of you guys, without your support I wouldn’t have a career in online media and I don’t take it for granted. Things can change every day so we must treat every day as a gift and realize that even in the worst case scenario we still have the power to turn it around if we truly want to deep down. I hope this helps just one person change their thinking just a tiny bit and realize success is always possible without having to hurt other people in the process and if things change or success changes you can change along with it and keep on pushing forward. I might be on YouTube today but tomorrow I might be programming automation software for a Fortune 500 tech firm or an internet startup in the basement of someones mom’s house. Nobody knows what the future holds but we can sure help narrow the scope of options available by what we do today.
Please share this with someone if you think they might be having a hard time and this could help them!
“… Social media is just one giant game of Cards Against Humanity with strangers” – Barnacules